Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Great Hoax

It was the dead of night and yet the Iqaluit airport in the remote Canadian province of Nunavut was humming with activities. Airplanes after airplanes were landing creating chaos for the immigration authorities. Hundreds of people from all different countries were pouring in---all in absolute secrecy.

The visitors took pains to hide their identities, because many were quite famous and they did not want their presence in this far corner to be revealed to the world. Those curious enough to ask them who they were got a curt reply. “We are here for a convention of rose growers.”

In reality, they were scientists and the real purpose of their visit was quite sinister.

They had travelled to this remote area, where there would be few watchful eyes, for one reason---to create a hoax of such magnitude that it would blow your imagination.  They wanted to fabricate a story that the world was going to suffer from a major climate change because of our actions, and unless something was done, the consequences would be catastrophic.

They were pretty sure that this hoax would crate a major upsurge in the funding they received, thus setting them up for life. The only thing was---all this had to be done in secrecy. If the cover were to be blown, that would be the end of their careers.

The venue for the gathering was carefully chosen. It was near the airport, so as to prevent the scientists from roaming around and creating suspicion. A tent city was erected, covered in camouflage material. This way, the prying eye of satellites would be fooled.

The hoax convention began with an oath to keep all this absolutely quiet. Even spouses would not be informed of what they were planning to do. Nobody outside this small group of 10,000 well-disciplined scientists would be allowed in the secret, and a leak would be contained by any means possible.  A secret handshake was established to ensure each person knew if the other person was in the secret or not.

Details of how the hoax would be perpetrated were revealed.  The temperature measuring devices around the world would be tempered so that they show rising temperatures.  The measurements of Carbon Dioxide concentration in the atmosphere would be similarly inflated. Computer models would be created to show what a dire state our earth is in. Several medial channels and scientific magazines will be bribed to run fake stories. Prominent politicians like Al Gore would be bought off so he becomes the spokes person for the hoax.

Concern was expressed in terms of the vigilant people of Fox channel and how they could blow the cover. Also, several extremely bright people of the Republican Party, such as Jim Inhofe, were listed as those to be feared. Unless the scientists were careful, these people would know something was wrong.  

Determined to make this a success, scientists filed out of the tent city and went back to the airport for their flights home.

And thus The Great Hoax was born.


PS: The hoax had a good run. For several years ordinary folks were petrified by what was coming. Fortunately, earth cooperated and people could feel something was wrong even without the scientists having to use false data. However, all this came to an end. As they feared, the Republicans, led by Inhofe, found out about the hoax. He came to his conclusion using brilliant logic about god and why would he let us humans alter climate. Fox News played its role in spreading the truth. The 10,000 scientists were shamed beyond belief. Their research funding dried up and they were subjected to witch trials, which were reinstated as a way to prevent future hoaxes.

1 comment: