Saturday, May 1, 2010

Flashing your teeth

Some of the recent digital cameras have a smile feature. That means that the camera will take a picture only if the subject is smiling. This smile has to be of the type that exposes your teeth. Otherwise the camera assumes that you are not worth taking a picture of and refuses to fire.

For a person like me who generally does not flash his teeth while posing for a picture this creates a problem. Either learn to flash, or be ignored by the stupid camera…in effect become a persona non grata. How insulting is this! Outrageous!

How did it come to pass that you have to bare all your teeth for a smile? When did the curving-your-lips-upward stop becoming a legitimate smile?

It can not be genetic. Apes, our closest genetic cousins, flash their teeth only when they are ready to attack. If you see their teeth it is time to run, not point your stupid camera (on the smile mode) with the hopes that it would catch a picture of a happy ape.

Perhaps it is a conspiracy of the American Dental Association. They have so mesmerized our brains that we must have perfect teeth—worthy of a flashing smile and the attention of the stupid camera.

They have done a great job. Have you seen those TV personalities and models that seem unable to keep their mouth close even for a second? Of course it creates a problem when they need to pronounce words that begin with letters such a p, f, b, or m---those that require your lips to meet. They would rather sacrifice and butcher those words for the sake of not looking unhappy, even for a moment. May be even the TV cameras are designed freeze if they do not see the teeth of their subjects, much like the stupid digital cameras.

It is time for us non-teeth-flashing-smilers to unite. Let us become a force to reckon with. Let us help design cameras that refuse to take pictures if they see even a glint of teeth.


May 2010