Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Flying a Kite

India celebrated the festival of Makar Sankranti on January 14th. One of the only festivals in India that is tied to the Western calendar, Sankranti always falls on the 14th of January and for people in Gujarat, the area I come from, it only means one thing---flying a kite. It is a joy to be in a city like Ahmedabad and see hundreds of kites in the sky.

Although most people can learn to fly a kite---sort of, being good at it is not easy. On the surface of it, you need to learn only two actions--- (i) hold and tug the string, and (ii) play it out. However, a key thing to learn is when to do what. If you hold the string for too long, the kite does not fly---if you just let it go, it does not fly either. It is well synchronized switching between the two actions that would make the kite fly.

Good kite flyers develop an intuitive feel for when to hold and when to let go in order to get optimum performance out of a kite. Further, they learn to read the wind and know how to adjust their actions. Theirs are the kites that fly the highest.

Kite flying is a perfect metaphor for many things we need to learn to do in life.

A perfect example (at least to me) is child rearing. Like kite flying, one needs to do two basic things (i) hold on to the strings (discipline the child or set boundaries) and (ii) let go (let the child explore on his/her own). If you hold on too often and for too long, the child remains highly disciplined but does not progress or take wings. If you let go all the time, the child goes haywire---undisciplined and rudderless. I am sure you have seen examples of both types.

The key again lies in knowing when to do what and acting accordingly. Good parents seem to have developed an intuitive feel for when to hold and when to let go.

Then there is the question of wind---in this case externalities like the prevailing cultural climate and social norms. Different wind pattern requires different actions. Good parents, like good kite flyers are able to read the prevailing winds and adjust accordingly.

Their kites end up flying high.

1 comment:

  1. Last year when we visited India, we arrived on the 14th February. Even though I enjoyed the "traditions" of Jalebi and Ganthiya, wonderful social gatherings, meals, kite flying and freindly competion, one thing left my heart sad. Next morning in the paper there were many headlines where birds were killed, one person in the scooter was killed with glass lined "manja". Does that mean we abandon the tradition? Certainly not, to me, it all boils down to "Enjoy and act responsibly".

    About raising children, Gibran says eloquently: Your children are like an arrow. You can point it in a correct direction. But once released, you will have not control over them. Wind and other factors will take over. One should never blame himself/herself for not being a good parent.

    Bo

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