Experiences

  

“Do not acquire things, acquire experiences instead.”

 

I am sure you have heard people say that. I say that. Having downplayed material acquisition and spending time and money on gaining experiences almost throughout my life, I can claim that this saying has traction. 

 

Let me cite some examples of how people generally gain experiences:

 

For many of us, if not most, “experience” involves some form of travelling. It allows you to see new places and enjoy new cultures. Booking.com, a well-known travel site lists attractions, activities and experiences on its website. Packaged experiences. 

 

However, after a while, just sightseeing does not cut it. For some of us, to gain real experiences you must have interactions with locals, talking to them, observing their customs, listening to their music, and eating their food. That is generally difficult to do if you are travelling with a group. In that case, most of the interactions are with the fellow travelers, and not with locals. Yes, some of the tours now have time set aside for a cooking lesson or tea with a local person. However, that seems more like a contrived experience than an authentic one. 

 

For a more authentic experience, one needs to travel solo or just with a partner. Also, one would think that staying in an Airbnb, instead of a hotel, may allow for a more personal touch. But that is not always true. Even an Airbnb rental can be a completely impersonal experience. “Here is the combination of the lock, enjoy your stay.”

 

Perhaps backpacking and staying in someone’s home will bring you closer to local population, but that type of travelling is not for everyone. One person whose book I skimmed through goes one step further. In her quest to experience the changing way of life in India, she spent weeks with some families. That way she really experienced what it was all about. 

 

If you look at the definition of experience, it is: “a practical knowledge, skill, or practice derived from direct observation of or participation in events or in a particular activity.” That opens up a number of interpretations. Let me give some examples:

 

The first one relates to a tour that one of my relatives went on. This was through Italy, a country full of sites to see, food to experience (by my definition) and a very boisterous population. However, for her the experience was being with fellow tourists who cracked jokes and danced after a few glasses of wine. 

 

Then again, so many people travel by cruise ships, often with friends. In that case being with people whose company you enjoy is an experience, whether it involves significant sight-seeing or not. In fact, some cruises are with no destination, just roaming around. They do not even pretend to be providing anything else but company of fellow travelers and facilities. Sure, for many, that too is an “experience”.

 

A really interesting example of what people call experience is something I found out through conversation with a wealthy person from Mumbai. She mentioned that some of the rich young ladies in her home town are after “experiences”. “That’s why they select to buy an expensive purse instead of storing wealth under lock and key as one would if invested in gold or some such commodity.” Hmmm, buying a Gucci for an outrageous price is acquiring an experience and not a thing? What experience would that be? Going shopping? Bargaining with the seller? Making your friends jealous? 

 

So, the personal choice extends to not just how one acquires experience, the way it is normally interpreted, buteven the way it is interpreted.

I am in awe!

I am an engineer with a strong affinity for science. I firmly believe that science will be able to keep answering our questions about the universe and our existence. We will keep making progress and at the same time, continue to face additional mysteries to address.

 

However, that does not prevent me from feeling a sense of awe at the world and how amazing is its scale. Perhaps this is a child-like reaction, like the one you get when you look beyond all the reasonings and explanations.  

 

Of many, here are two areas that create that sense of awe for me.

 

As I go on a long-distance flight, and see the world below me, I cannot but feel that our earth is huge. After flying for over 17 hours (as I did on way to Singapore), I appreciate that to go around the whole earth will take a lot longer. I am just a minor speck on this vast planet.

 

And our vast planet is rotating around sun, which is many times bigger. More than hundred times in diameter. However, on scale of the universe, our sun is practically insignificant. When I look up in dark night and see the Milky Way galaxy, I appreciate the fact that sun is just an average size star among 100 billion of them. 

 

Now comes the next part. Our galaxy is just one out of some 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe. When you look at the images sent by the James Webb Space Telescope, the field of observation is filled with galaxies everywhere (besides stars in our own galaxy).Just imagine how much stuff is around.

 

Now comes the two clinchers: What we don’t see in this vast universe is dark matter. The science is still not clear what this dark matter is, but whatever it is, the amount of it is huge, probably four times what we see.  The next one is even more mind blowing, and that is dark energy. The amount of dark energy is perhaps four times the combined amount of visible universe and dark matter. 

 

If that is not awe inspiring, here is the final point: All that visible matter, dark matter and dark energy emerged from a point, by some estimate, as small as a fraction of millimeter in diameter, when the Big Bang occurred. 

 

That to me is truly mind blowing. 

 

The other area that is equally amazing starts out very small. I am talking about a cell, a human cell, for example. It contains some 100 trillion atoms. Not only that, these atoms are parts of some very complex molecules that perform very specific functions. There is of course the nucleus with its magic pairs of DNAs. Some six billion DNAs are packaged into 23 pairs of chromosomes. These are the ones that transmit our legacy to our children, besides performing myriad functions. 

 

In addition, a cell consists of cytoplasm within which lie intricate arrangements of fine fibers and hundreds or even thousands of miniscule but distinct structures called organelles. It is all contained in a membrane. What is awe inspiring is that all these tiny elements work like clockwork to make cell a living thing which make up more complex structures in a human being (as well as in plants, insects, animals, and so on). 

 

How many cells are there in a human being? About 30 trillion cells, according to some researchers. This now sounds more and more like the number of stars in a galaxy and number of galaxies in the universe mentioned above. What is amazing is that all these cells are so structured and arranged that a human has the ability to do all kinds of things that we expect a living being to do.  These cells are arranged to provide us a skin to package and protect us, a respiratory system to breath, a digestive system to convert food into energy, and so on. Sitting above all is the brain, which contain 86 billion neurons making 100 trillion connections to each other. Through this massive machinery, we are able to think, store information, direct our muscles to do tasks, and even be conscious. 

 

The final amazing number is that of microbes living with us. They help with the digestive system, among other functions. The estimated number of these microbes is about 40 trillion. So, when we move, some 70 trillion cells move with us, doing things that we don’t even need to think about.

 

What can I say?  Even as a fairly well educated rational human being, I am in awe!!

Edge of knowledge about life

 A fascinating book I read recently is by a famous science writer, Lawrence Krauss. The title of the book is “The Edge of Knowledge: Unsolved mysteries of the cosmos.” It is a fairly dense book, difficult to understand sometimes, that deals with five topics: Time, Space, Matter, Life and Consciousness. According to him, the two most inspiring mysteries of nature are the last two: Life and consciousness. Here is my attempt to describe his take on Life, which I find very interesting. 

 

The first issue he deals with is what exactly is a living organism and how do you separate it from the non-living collection of molecules. He says that “Living organisms are generally thought to be an open-systems that maintain homeostasis, are composed of cells, have a life cycle, undergo metabolism, can grow, adapt to their environment, respond to stimuli, reproduce and evolve (Wikipedia).” In this rather lengthy definition, “homeostasis” is a moderating feedback loop to maintain a kind of static equilibrium. So, one could say that a fire is not a living organism because it does not maintain homeostasis. This is a fairly comprehensive definition, in my opinion that adds several parameters I had not thought about, such as responding to stimuli.

 

He then describes four key attributes associated with observed life on earth: 1. Informational molecules/genomes to enable faithful reproduction, 2. The building blocks of metabolism, typically molecules called ATP that allow life forms to store and manipulate energy, 3. Protein catalysts to allow biological reactions to proceed, and 4. Compartments/membranes that separate the workings of living things from their environment. If you are familiar with what a cell is composed of, this list makes sense. A cell is an incredibly creation of nature which forms the building block of all things living.

 

Now we are entering the religious and philosophical domain. How could such a complex thing come about without the hand of god or an intelligent designer?

 

Krauss says that it is possible to have an explanation about origin of life that does not require god or an intelligent designer. Although the final answer is not found at present, there are three possibilities: 1. Scientists have identified exotic environments where there is new chemistry that creates complex biomolecules, 2. Many basic organic building blocks of life, including amino acids have been discovered in meteorites and comets, 3. RNA (which has both genomic and catalytic functions) provides a possible pathway to replicating structures in advance of biology. Krauss believes that eventually we will find the answer to origin of life using science, since we already have several strong candidates. I agree with him.

 

One most obvious next question is what about life elsewhere, outside of earth? What should we expect? 

 

Regarding extraterrestrial life, Krauss sees three possibilities: 1. Extraterrestrial life might be based on exactly the same chemistry that we see on earth. 2. We discover life that has different rules, different genetic backbones than RNA and DNA, different metabolic pathways, and different sources of energy. 3. Life that bears no resemblance to life on earth. Perhaps we are too conditioned to expect life looking similar to what we are familiar with. That may not be the case.

 

The question is: Will we find extraterrestrial life? In fact, do civilizations exist elsewhere in the universe?

 

In 1961, Frank Drake estimated a way of estimating active, intelligent and communicative civilizations in the Milky Way. It is composed of a number of probabilities that begins with number of stars in the galaxy X Fraction that have planets around them (which we know is approximately one, given the number of exoplanets we have already found) X Fraction of planets that can potentially develop life X Fraction that do indeed develop life X Fraction that develop intelligent life X Fraction that develop communications technology X Fraction that attempt to communicate. 

 

At the moment, we are busy trying to find planets that can potentially develop life whether they do develop or not is a separate question. For example, three moons of Jupiter (Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto), plus two of Saturn (Enceladus, and Titan) have potential for life development. Several space probes will further enhance our knowledge of these potential cradles of extraterrestrial life.  Let’s see what happens. The other fractions in Drake’s equation are still wild guesses.

 

At some point, life will not be tenable on earth. Whether a solution is found to manage these catastrophic events or human beings will find home elsewhere is a question that keeps science fiction writers busy. Krauss thinks that we are not that well suited for interplanetary travel much less interstellar. He thinks that it will not be human beings but the instructions to make humans that will go beyond our solar system. Also, who is to say that the dominant intelligence on earth may not become silicon based rather than carbon based? In that case, life might never end in the universe; it just won’t be the same life that survives. 

 

Many folks argue that so many things in universe had to go right for life to exist, and therefore there has to be a divine intervention. Krauss says that the universe is not fine-tuned for life, rather life is fine tuned for the universe.

 

Besieges

 I received what I thought to be a message from postal service, informing me that I needed to provide some more details so that they can deliver a package. I clicked on the link they provided and ended up on a website that looked very official. After I provided more details, I was asked to provide a credit card number so they can charge for the second delivery. Stupidly I did. No surprise when after a few days, my credit card was charged for all types of fake services and purchases. Fortunately, the credit card company caught it and informed me. All the charges were removed and we got new cards.

That was just the beginning of the new sophisticated phase of scamming.

 

I got a message from a hotel I had booked using Booking.com in Sucre, Bolivia. It said that the credit card they were holding my reservation under was rejected and I needed to provide a new card with all the information. Otherwise, my reservation would be cancelled. I decided to cancel my reservation just to be safe and booked in another hotel. Soon afterward, I got a real message from the hotel saying that Booking.com had suffered a hack and we should not respond to the previous message.

 

My wife got a message soon after we got new debit cards that they had information of misuse and unless we provide more information, they would cancel the debit cards. The message was from an email address we did not recognize, so we did not respond. No idea how they found out we had a new debit card.

 

There was a posting from a friend of mine with an authentic looking video from BBC. He said that the video depicted an accident that killed someone we knew. Again, I stupidly clicked on it and was taken to a website I did not recognize. My friend posted soon afterwards, telling us that his account was hacked and we should not click on the posting. I had already done so. Thankfully, no harm was done (I think).

 

The other day, my wife received a message that her Apple ID was used on a new phone. No idea what that was about, since she has not purchased a new phone. 

 

On and on, they keep coming at a faster and faster pace. We feel besieged. The above represents only a few attacks. Who knows how many were stopped by the filters of my laptop’s operating system. 

 

I yern for the days when an email would arrive from a Nigerian address informing me that my relative had died in Nigeria and all I had to do was to fly there and claim my inheritance. 

 

How nostalgic!

How to know a person

 I just finished a book called ‘How to know a Person’ written by David Brooks, a well-known writer and a columnist.  He begins by saying, “When I was young, I wanted to be knowledgeable, but as I got older, I wanted to be wise. Wise people don’t just possess information, they possess a compassionate understanding of other people. They know about life.” This is indeed the journey that many of us go through as we grow in age. 

 

He further writes,” Our schools have focused on preparing people for their careers, but no on the skills of being considerate toward the person next to you…. the quality of our lives and the health of our society depend to a large degree on how well we treat each other in the minute interactions of daily life.”

 

This confirms a survey that I had performed along with a couple of my classmates of our colleagues in college we attended more than 50 years ago. We asked them about the factors that contributed to successful in their lives. Almost invariably, they mentioned their ability to deal with people as a major factor, and pointed out that our college did not prepare us for that.

 

Next, David makes several key points: “There are few things as fulfilling as the sense of being seen and understood. Life gets a lot better if you can see things from other people’s points of view. In how you see me, I will learn to see myself.” He chides us by saying, “How often have you felt prejudged, invisible, misheard or misunderstood? Do you really think you don’t do this to others on a daily basis?” This is a great statement to keep in mind. Whenever I feel slighted by someone’s action, I tell myself to be careful in not doing the same to others. 

 

An interesting statement he makes,  appropriate for these days, “If you want to thrive in the age of AI, you better become exceptionally good at connecting with others.” So true!

 

He then devotes considerable energy toward helping us become better at connecting. The first barrier for most of us is that “we check out the looks of people we meet and immediately start making judgements about them.” Don’t we all? He is black and so he must be blah blah blah. 

 

David suggests we move away from these prejudices… “Illuminate” people…  by using tenderness, active curiosity, affection, generosity, and a holistic attitude.” He says, “Evil happens when people are unseeing, when they don’t recognize the personhood in other human beings”. There is no doubt that during a war, the enemy is not a person. Only then can you commit such horrible atrocities. However, thankfully, that is not the case for most of us. 

 

He recommends that “after the illuminating gaze, accompaniment is the next step in getting to know a person. In these normal moments of life, you are doing stuff together, not face to face but side by side. You are accompanying each other.” He then recommends how to accompany. “The first quality associated with accompaniment is patience. The second is playfulness. Accompaniment often involves surrender of power. Finally, it is the art of presence. Being present at weddings and funerals, for example.”

One intriguing question he raises is “What is a person?”  In answer, he mentions that,” Different people can experience the same event in profoundly different ways. Event happen in our lives but each person processes and experiences the event in their own unique way. There is an objective reality of what happens and there is the subjective reality of how what happened is seen, interpreted and made meaningful.” In other words, “Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you.”

 

“A person is a point of view. Every person you meet is a creative artist who takes the events of life and, over time, creates a very personal view of seeing the world.  As we try to understand other people, we want to be constantly asking ourselves: How are they perceiving this situation? How are they experiencing this moment? How are they constructing their reality?” 

 

My experience is that time and again, I meet people who have such a different view point of things like climate change, immigration, politics, and religion. I should start asking questions to myself that David suggests. “How are they constructing their reality?”

 

Conversation is the answer. “I am going to get to know you at the same time you are going to get to know me. Quality conversation is the essence of this approach.”

 

“Getting to know someone else is usually more about talking and listening than about seeing.  A good conversationalist is a master of fostering two-way exchange. A good conversationalist is capable of leading people on a mutual expedition toward understanding. A good conversation is an act of joint exploration.” 

 

“To become better conversationalist:

·      Treat attention as an on/off switch, not a dimmer. “Stop doing anything else and just pay attention to this.”

·      Be a loud listener. “If you listen passively, the other person ls likely to become inhibited. Active listening is an invitation to express.”

·      Favor familiarity. “To get a conversation rolling, find the things the other person is most attached to.” 

·      Make them authors, not witnesses. “Good conversationalists ask for stories about specific events or experiences, and then they go even further.” 

·      Don’t fear the pause. “Wait for the end of the other person’s comments and then pause for a few beats to consider how to respond to what’s been said. “

·      Do the looping. “You repeat what someone just said in order to make sure you accurately received what they were trying to project. Looping forces you to listen more carefully.” 

·      Apply the Midwife Model. “A midwife is not there to give birth but to simple assist the other person in their own creation. The midwife is there to encourage a deeper honesty.”

·      Keep the gem statement at the center. “This is the truth underneath the disagreement, something you both agree on. Example--- Even if we can’t agree on Dad’s medical care, I have never doubted your good intentions--- If you return to the gem statement during a conflict, you can keep the relationship strong.”

·      Find the disagreement under the disagreement. “Look for moral, philosophical root of why you each believe in what you do.”

·      Don’t be a topper. Don’t say “Your problems are not that interesting to me; let me tell you about my own, much more fascinating ones.””

 

The book them goes on to some specific topics related to how we can see the others in their struggles or see them in their strengths. However, to me the above discussion is at the heart of our inability to deal with people and build long lasting social connections. 

 

There are so many hidden gems in the above list. One of my favorites is “Don’t be a topper.” How often do I say something, or post something, and the other person, without even acknowledging what I have said will come up with what he has done which is better. He is being a topper. I am sure I do something similar myself and I need to be careful. 

 

I believe I am pretty good at “Favor familiarity.” As a management consultant, one of the key points of success was ability to develop trust in the mind of clients, I used to go to their offices and look around. There would be photos of the travels that the person had done, or some hobbies. I was able to start conversation from those. 

 

For people of any age, David Brooks lays out useful lessons. However, for the elderly, with more time in their hands to spend with friends and family, these are crucial skills to acquire. Without them life will not be as fulfilling or fun. 

 

Bolivia

 It is challenging for Americans to enter Bolivia, the poor and land locked country in South America. The instructions on what you need to do to get a visa are confusing and complicated. In some places they mention that you need to get the visa at a Bolivian consulate or embassy in US before you come. For us, living in LA, that would have been possible but the consulate staff is notorious for being unresponsive to phone calls and emails.  Other instructions involve filling out online forms and uploading information. 

We decided to ask the operator of a three-day tour we were taking to cross over from Chile to Bolivia and show us the south western part of that country, including Salar de Uyuni. His instructions were long but clear: Just bring $160 per person in cash (crisp notes), a bank statement (showing that you have enough money to last in Bolivia), a Yellow Fever vaccination certificate for each one of us, our itinerary, our flight details, and filled our immigration forms along with our pictures. Over the weeks preceding our departure, we got all that. Well, all except the Yellow Fever vaccination certificate. Our doctor advised us against taking it (at our age), and provided a very authentic looking form that said that the vaccine was not taken. However, it was very authentic looking. 

 

In the end it all worked out. The immigration officer at the border singled us out from the line of other tourists (mostly Europeans and Brazilians), but did not give us any hassle. One can argue that Bolivians were doing to Americans what we do to them for getting visas. Getting even.

 

However, in spite of the hassle involved, Bolivia is a country that is worth visiting. Absolutely. 

 

First of all, this is the land of superlatives. It has the highest navigable lake in the world, Lake Titicaca, at 12,500’. We went there in 1980, our first visit to Bolivia, and it is an impressive site.

 

Bolivia also has the largest salt flat in the world. Salar de Uyuni is over 4,000 sq miles. Located at 12,000’, it is so large that one cannot see the other end in many places. This was the main objective of our trip this time.

 

Finally, the country boasts the highest capital in the world, La Paz, at 12,000’ and two of the highest cities in the world, Potosi, at 13,500’ and El Alto, right above La Paz, at 13,600’. 

 

The second reason why Bolivia is worth visiting is its population. The country is populated by indigenous people or those of mixed ancestry (Mestizos). Some 70% of population has some native background, and about 20 recognized indigenous groups live in Bolivia. Almost everyone we interacted with in Bolivia had some indigenous background.

 

Evo Morales was the first Indigenous President of the country. He is the one who is credited with creating “Plurinational” State of Bolivia in 2009. In fact, we were in La Paz when they celebrated the 15^th anniversary of signing that new Political Constitution.  

 

In an age when many countries are lurching toward non-secular, non-pluralistic state, this is refreshing.  

 

Yes, Americans are not loved by those in power in this country, but people at large have nothing but affection for us. 

 

Bolivia. One of our favorite countries. 

Overtourism

 Recently, we went to Yosemite National Park. This was our fourth visit over fifty years and it remains as lovely as ever. Those granite walls, magnificent waterfalls, and beautiful meadows are hard to beat.

 

What was different this time was how many people were there. The biggest issue in planning for a hike was not how physically demanding it would be, but if we would be able to find parking. Yosemite Valley, the heart of the park, is now a maze of one-way roads, many closed to private vehicles. The traffic is constant, and the huge parking lots are filled to the brim.  The shuttle buses are so crowded that sometimes one has to stand most of the way. Just like the buses in Mumbai. 

 

Of course, Yosemite is not alone. Going to Mt Baldy near Los Angeles for a hike has the same issues. We had to park, illegally, half a mile from the trail head to be able to hike. There were just so many cars! If you want to climb the peak, you would be out of luck if you arrived after 7 am. There would be no parking.

 

Reminded us of our international travels and how dismayed we were at popular places such as Santorini or Skagway (in Alaska), both stopping points for cruise ships. In Santorini, some of the well-known photo spots were so crowded with the Selfie crowd that you had to stand in line to get to your turn to take the glory shot. In Skagway, there were three cruise ships docked when we drove to the town from Yukon, and the streets were filled with tourists going to curio shops.

 

I have heard horror stories of people trying to get to Amalfi Coast in Italy. Our friends, in an expensive conducted tour, could not see it because there was no parking available for miles. We are told that the situation is even worse in Venice. That small city was crowed when we went there some twenty years ago, but now it is even more so.

 

A few observations:

 

·      First, we are being a little hypocritical because by being at these places ourselves, we are adding to the crowd. Yes, I agree. But we do complain about the LA traffic while contributing to it, don’t we? It is the same thing.

 

·      Second, the cruise ship passengers have as much right to visit a place as we do. It is a different type of travel but if they chose to take it, we have no moral authority to complain.

 

·      Third, being older, we had the opportunity to visit many of these places when they were not overrun with tourists. The younger folks have no choice. It is what it is. 

 

There is no specific solution, except restrict the number by instituting a permit system. Or a lottery, as they do for many hiking areas in US. 

 

If you are not travelling in a group, it is good to know what places the tourists are taken to and when. Then avoid those places and times. Time and again, we have found that to be the solution. 

 

So, in Juneau, we went a couple of miles south of the city, and could observe salmon swimming upstream, while passengers in cruise ships were shopping in the city or being taken by buses to see the Mendenhall Glacier. 

 

In Santorini, peace prevailed after the cruise ship passengers were gone for the evening. Also, there were several spots on the island, accessible by local buses, that had a very manageable crowd of tourists. 

 

In Alaska, Haines, a boat ride away from Skagway, was very peaceful, because it was  not a stopping point for cruise ships taking the Inner Passage. 

 

In the future, perhaps AI supported virtual travel experiences will be so realistic, many folks will avoid going physically. Or, some will find that it is impossible to distinguish between Instagram posting that is real from one that is artificially generated. For them, there will be no reason to brave the real travel to post that priceless selfie in front of Eiffel Tower.