The stage of just living

Retirement is quite different from the other stages in life.

While in school, we had to progress from one standard to another, and there were grades by which we could judge how well we are doing. When that stage ended and we went to work, we strived to create a career, progressing from one job to another, with increasing responsibility and remuneration. We measured (if we were so inclined) how well we were doing based on performance measures such as our bank balance and title that our business cards boasted.

Nothing like that happens after we retire. There is no easy way to judge if we are having a successful retirement or not. There are no performance measures nor are there goals that need to be reached. Our day is not divided into billable hours and no accounting is required on how we spend our time. We have full authority to do nothing. Having done that, we do not need to not feel that we have wasted the day. We can decide to just “live”.

However, doing so is not easy.

We end up creating some pseudo performance measures because most of us cannot live without the feeling that we are making progress even in retirement. We create a “bucket list” and tick off what has been done. “I am making progress in my retirement because I now have done fifteen things out of thirty in my bucket list,” we say.

My feeling is that we need to figure out a way to be satisfied with the process, or journey, of retirement not the goals we achieve. One could argue that the same can be applied to the other stages of life. One should focus on learning not on grades, and, later, in doing meaningful work, not the wealth it creates. True, but those choices have major implications on what type of life you live. That is not the case once you have retired.

Are performance measurements necessary for a fulfilling life? Can we be happy just living?

Taking Stock

It is hard for me to believe, but three years have passed since I entered a new chapter of my life---“retirement” or more accurately, the Encore Phase. In my Blog post of January 2013, I had outlined what I thought I would do in this phase. Three years into it, I thought it would be a good time to take a stock of what I was thinking of doing and how things have actually turned out.

I had based my plan according to my thinking of leading a well balanced life that consisted of spending time in each of four quadrants, two related to intellectual activities and two, physical. I had, somewhat crudely titled them as left-brain activities, right-brain activities, low-energy activities and high-energy activities. (See my Blog Post of November 2012 for a detailed description of these quadrants.)

I realized that there are two additional segments that need to be included in order to lead a fulfilling life. I call them Family support activities and Giving back activities. These somewhat inelegant descriptors contain what you need to do to nourish the emotional aspect of being a human. I am avoiding using the term “spiritual” because I m not sure what that means if you are not a religious person and do not believe in god.

So the version 2 of the Well-Balanced Life diagram looks like this:Now, these segments are not mutually exclusive. For example, Travel would be a high-energy activity that includes gastronomy. An intellectual activity, such as pro-bono consulting, constitutes Giving back to the society.

So, where am I at in these segments?

Starting from bottom, the low-energy activities, I have not made much progress on the gastronomy side. I still have no interest in cooking and very little in fine cuisine. I am learning about different bourbons, partly thanks to my younger family members, but one needs to be careful in controlling this activity--- I see many retirees become too fond of drinking. My TV watching has not gone up substantially nor do I go to see movies more than I used to. I have not taken up watching sports. So, overall, retirement has not made that much of a difference in this segment of activities.

Moving on to the high-energy activities, we both try to remain fit. I perhaps go to the health club more than I used to. Besides the health benefits, the club provides a place to go to in order to prevent cabin fever, especially during the winter months. We continue to bike and ski, but have been slowing down on the hiking front. We have not done our three day hut-to-hut hike in the past three years, partly because of restrictions placed on what we can do while taking care of my aging father. Also, we have not gone on any trek in the past three years. But, we have travelled quite a bit, especially Central/South America and Europe, and gone on a couple of biking vacations. In addition, my list of extreme travels is now done, having been to the “Northernmost point I can (without spending a fortune)”---Svalbard in Norway at 80 degree Latitude.

I have generally done well on the left-brain activity segment. I am involved with providing pro-bono management consulting to non-profits in the Boston area through an organization called Executive Service Corps (ESC). I have completed two assignments, both for conservancies preserving green space in and around Boston. Now, I am helping an organization devoted to providing housing and services to folks with developmental disabilities---a very satisfying activity. I also devote time going through courses offered by “The Great Courses” company. These are in a wide variety of subjects in physics, biology, history, anthropology, and so on. Finally, through a program offered by the Northeastern University, I am volunteering in a middle school in a low-income community, helping science teachers teach biology through experiments.  This is forcing me to learn biology, not an area of my professional career. Finally, I have continued to write my Blog. This forces me to think about various subjects in a rational way.

I have spent a lot of time focusing on the right-brain activities, primarily photography. I have learned a lot and improved quite a bit from three years ago. Encouraged by comments from fellow photographers (both in Camera Clubs and on Flickr) as well as friends/family members, I keep on experimenting with different techniques and subjects. I have won a Grand Prize (first out of 800 entries) in a photography competition, and been on Flickr Explore gallery numerous times. In this gallery, Flickr exhibits 500 pictures out of 8.6 million submitted daily. My progress in photography is way beyond I was planning to do or hoping to achieve.

I was also planning to learn how to play piano, and I have yet to do that. However, I have spent a lot of time on learning the fine points of Western Classical Music, primarily through the Great Courses, and have felt confident enough to write a document describing this type of music to an Indian audience. I have made some progress on appreciating other types of Western music, and have great support from my son in law who is a music journalist, but I can’t say I have gotten too far.

Moving on, the additional two segments, I (we) have derived a great deal of satisfaction from taking care of my aging father. This emotionally satisfying activity extracts a price---there are restrictions placed on other activities. On the other hand, we are doing our duty.

Finally, I am giving back to the society to the best of my ability. Not having an enormous fortune to spend on philanthropy, my contribution comes in form of mentoring and volunteering. If my pro-bono consulting can improve efficiency and effectiveness of a non-profit, there will be many beneficiaries.   If my assistance in teaching science can excite even one student toward this subject, and make him/her a doctor, scientist or an engineer, I would have given back.

So, in summary, I am generally pleased the way things have turned out. I have not had one day when I did not know what I should do. As my wife continues to work almost full-time, a great deal of time I am alone or with my father whose ability to communicate has gone down substantially. Having thought through and planned on what to do during those times have helped me not feel lonely or worse---depressed. 

Confirmation bias

Confirmation bias refers to a phenomenon that makes us to seek out evidence, and only that evidence, which supports what we believe in. So, if we do not believe in climate change, we will seek out scientific studies that support our belief, even if they disagree with what a majority of scientists agree on. Thanks to our ability to search the vast amount of knowledge that exists out there, it is very easy to find what we want to see. Such propensity and ability to find one-sided evidence makes us harden our position, once we have made up our mind.  

Overcoming confirmation bias is a difficult task. We tend to blame others of suffering from it, while they may feel the same way about us. They will tell us, the “liberals” or “progressives” or whatever label they decide to bestow on us, that we tend to just listen to the liberal outlets and ignore those that do not support the conservative views.

That is true. I do not watch Fox News and tend to ignore what the Heritage Foundation may say. I read New York Times and laugh with them at the Conservative politicians. On Facebook, I am friends with people holding similar views and stop following those who do not.

So, how do I cure myself of my bias? Should I pay more attention to the other side and be willing to change my position on issues?

This is a real challenge.

Personally, the other side has to meet certain requirements before I listen to them.  The argument needs to be rational not ideological or theological. I am too much of a scientist or an engineer to have it otherwise. That means I just cannot watch Fox News or listen to Rush Limbaugh. Give me a more rational news source.

Second, by the same token, I have to feel that the position I hold has stopped being rational. It is hard for me, just like most people, to accept that I am wrong, but I am willing to do that.

Third, the person making argument has to recognize that my position has some merits too. It is just that my thinking has led me to a different conclusion. The last point is what I need to work on because that is what people holding the other position would want me to do.

Confirmation bias is a serious phenomenon that is capable of tearing a society apart, and we need to address it. Starting with us.

Photoshop

Recently I have started using Photoshop---a very well known digital post-processing program from Adobe---not just for touching up my photographs, but for creating images that are classified as  “digital art”. The process of creating them is deeply satisfying and uses a different set of right brain neurons than does conventional photography. Using Photoshop, I have converted some photographs to images that resemble impressionist paintings (or so I think). Some have elements juxtaposed from different images, just for fun (like one I created by superimposing a polar bear from Arctic on an Antarctic landscape full of penguins).  Occasionally, I imagine a scene, say a science fiction landscape, and then try to create it using different photographs and techniques.

Interestingly, some of my Facebook friends are not too happy at my foray into this media. Although most are too polite to tell me on my face, I get occasional comments regarding how they appreciate my conventional photographs more than this stuff that I am now posting.

As I think about it, I see why they dislike Photoshopping. A major reason has to do with what they see as the purpose of photography. As I had mentioned in a previous Blog Post (July 2014), photographs are taken, broadly, for three purposes: to memorialize an event, for reporting a story (photo journalism) or to create a work of art.

For people used to using a camera for the first purpose, using Photoshop to insert a missing person is almost scandalous, unless the photographer says that that is what was done. Same is the case with those who think that an image is supposed to be telling a story that has happened in reality. For them, a polar bear in middle of penguins, in what they expect to be a story about Antarctica, is a willful distortion.

On the other hand, for people who think that a photograph has the third purpose, to entertain us as a work of art, a Photoshopped image should not come as a big shock. On the surface of it, what difference does it make if a butterfly in an artistic photograph (not one meant for an Audubon guide) was really there or imported from another photograph in order to serve as an element of composition?

I think the issue here is similar to what I discussed in a previous Blog Post on Authenticity (December 2009). Why should people care if a diamond is real or fake that looks like real?  For those whose intention is to use diamond as a fashion accessory, fake would be fine. However, if your intent were to show off wealth, only the real one would do---accompanied by a statement that it is not fake, in case the observer appears uncertain about its authenticity.

So it is with the observers of a digital image. There are those who are wedded to the notion that a photograph has to represent reality. For them, it is hard to accept that a photographer can manipulate pixels to create a work of art; only an artist does with paint and brush is allowed to do that. Then there are those who are looking for visual stimulation that comes from watching a work of art, no matter what media was used to create it. They should accept digital art without hesitation.

The decision to select fake or real diamond is based on what wearer wants viewer to do --- be impressed by the its looks or by the wealth of the wearer. Applying the same logic, but from the other point of view, the acceptance of digital art is based on what the viewer expects from the medium of photography---depiction of realty or pleasure of viewing a work of art.