Compared to our genetically similar ancestors we live a long
life.
“Chimpanzees and great apes are genetically similar to
humans, yet they rarely live for more than 50 years. Although the average human
lifespan has doubled in the last 200 years — due largely to decreased infant
mortality related to advances in diet, environment and medicine — even without
these improvements, people living in high mortality hunter-forager lifestyles
still have twice the life expectancy at birth as wild chimpanzees do.” (Ref. Live Science, Dec. 15, 2009)
This is a real bonus, because as far as nature is concerned,
we have done our work as soon as we have given birth to children and brought
them up. The “selfish genes” do not need us around once the continuation of
their lineage is assured.
Of the pleasures we get in these bonus years, the greatest
one, I am told, is to be able to enjoy our grandchildren. We humans have the unique opportunity to do
so. I do not believe too many apes live to see their grandchildren let alone
enjoy their early years. For us, it is it is a very common experience.
We are going to find that out. A few days ago, our daughter
gave birth to a baby girl and suddenly we are in that next stage of life, the
“unnatural” one.
The first part of this stage allows you to re-live the
experience when your own children were born. The high level of anticipation when
the news is announced is mixed with anxiety, just as it was earlier. This is
followed by utter delight when the child comes out looking normal. The fact
that a new human being has emerged from almost nothing still feels like a
miracle even for a non-believer. The gaze of the child when he/she looks at you
for the first time is thrilling even this time around.
Of course, not everything is the same. This time you know
that you have the luxury of skimming off the best part of the child rearing
experience. While the poor parents bear the brunt of sleepless nights and
constant worries as the child progresses through various stages of life, you participate
as you wish or as you are needed. You could get away with being the indulgent adult
for you grandchild even as the parents take over the responsibility of drawing
lines.
There are other ways the experience is not the same. When I
was born, my grandfather sent a postcard informing my father of birth. My
mother had gone to her parents’ house for delivery while my father had stayed
back. When our own children were
born, we used telephones to inform all our relatives and I was allowed to be in
the delivery room, unlike my father when I was born. When our granddaughter was born, the entire media spectrum was utilized
to inform relatives and friends, far and near. Within seconds everyone became
aware of the wonderful news and saw what the baby looks like. Videos were taken
and Skype was used to bring along the other grandma (in England) participate in
the experience.
There are now Apps available for the new parents navigate
through the maze of parenting. Anything that the baby or the mother needs can
now be instantly ordered for the same day, or next day, delivery.
The baby industry has progressed to the new level from the
days when we were raising our children more than three decades ago. The number
of options available, say in diapers, makes your mind reel. You end up coming
out of the store wondering if the diaper you bought has the right type of
“soiled diaper” indicator. In our times the options were few and smell was the
only indicator.
The car seat is another story. The modern ones would make an
astronaut proud. They are designed to protect the child in every type of car
accident, which is good, but their massive and complicated appearance scares
the crap out of a new child exploring the world around her. It took us ten
minutes to figure out how to unlock the mobile upper portion of the car seat
from the fixed lower portion….and I am an engineer.
We would have missed all these experiences if the nature had
not allowed us to live beyond our useful period. If the selfish genes had
refused to yield, we would be gone by now.
If that was the case,
who would our granddaughter have gone to buy her a candy (or more likely an
infant version of iPhone) when the parents would not?
