So unfair

“People are being so unfair. Especially, the so called Liberals.”

“First they ask me for my tax records. Why would anyone do that? How does my tax record---which is beautiful, by the way---prevent me from ruining, I mean running, this country and make it great again? Some days, I feel like, what the hell, let them see my tax records. Let them see how brilliant I am. See how I am capable of making millions of dollars of income disappear. For a thinking citizen, this would be a proof of what I can do with our deficit, which is totally disgusting, by the way. I can easily make it disappear too!”

“Second they ask for my health records. Didn’t they see the glowing report produced by my doctor, one of the best in the country? Didn’t it say that I would be the healthiest person ever to be elected to the office of presidency? Why don’t they believe it? I should have disclosed what else he mentioned. He said that my digestive system is so good that I produce far above average shit. He compared that to what a bull generally produces.”

“Third, they keep hammering me whenever I say nice things about my daughter. Just look at her. How can you blame me if I say that I would date her if she were not my daughter? How can that be incest? I bet Bill Clinton would have said the same thing if his daughter looked like mine, instead of like a dog.”

“Talking about women who look like dogs, think of Hillary. Like all women, she is stupid. She also looks like shit and aggressive as hell. She calls me names.  Compared to her, just look at my wife. She is obedient, like women should be, and a knock out. Hell, there are nude pictures of her on the web. Do you find any of the Clinton women? Who would look at them?”

“They say I hate Mexicans. Nothing can be farther from truth. I have this hideout in Mexico, the most beautiful hideout, believe me, and the Mexican servants there are so nice. My wife has never been raped over there. They also listen to whatever I say. They are clean, like you and me, not dirty. They even eat civilized food like hamburgers, not some crappy tacos. Unfortunately, they all want to come here. I have seen millions of them pouring in everyday. With my own eyes. If I do not build the wall, it will be goodbye America.”

“Also, we have millions of Islamist terrorists pouring in, everyday. They are ready to plunge our country into chaos. They are all Muslims. If we don't stop them, we will become Saudi America with Sharia Law. They are not like you and me. I admit, our guys also go on a rampage and kill a few people now and then. But Muslims, they kill hundreds everyday; it is just not reported by the Liberal media. Believe me. I have seen with my own eyes.”

“It is so unfair that people say bad things about me. They just do not understand.”