Overcommunicating

Aren’t these great times?

Facebook now allows me to connect on a daily basis with previously long lost friends and relatives. Blogs provide me with a soap box over which I can stand and provide my point of view on any topic I feel like. With my cell phone, and sensible pricing schemes, calling anyone in the world from anywhere has become a synch. Typing in a few words of SMS is now an impulsive and instantaneous activity. Broadcast emails with extensive mailing lists allow me to reach out to lots of people with my thoughts, opinions, and ideas.

For someone like me who gets kicks out of carrying out meaningful conversations with a diverse set of people, these are indeed wonderful developments.

However, I now realize that there are other types of people around in the world---those who are not much into communicating. These are the people who never respond to a broadcast email. They are your friends on Facebook, but they remain invisible. They are the ones who do not pick up the phone on the other hand---the caller ID having revealed that it is you who is calling.

To some extent, I see their point. In most cases it is us who have imposed ourselves on their quiet nook. We can not expect them to behave the same way as us or have the same needs. They have enough things going on in their lives that these overcommunicating activities play a secondary role. Or they just prefer to be left alone, either because of inherent shyness or fear that their communicating skills are not good.

They do not rejoice the availability of these multiple channels. They have no need share what they feel at any moment, their views on Sarah Palin, or what they did over the weekend. They probably think we are too pushy, self absorbed, and opinionated.

We need to respect their wishes. We need to stop being annoyed if they do not respond to our broadcast emails or do not participate in a hot discussion.

However, I feel that the behavior adjustment has to take place on both sides. The undercommunicators need to observe some level of courtesy in their dealings with people like us. A direct email (not a broadcast one) needs to be responded, the phone needs to be picked up. There are ways of expressing your desire that you don’t want to be bothered without being so obvious.

If these adjustments are not made, I am afraid that some relationships are going to end up being weakened, or even wrecked, as a result of these tools instead of getting strengthened.