Who comes to mind if I ask you to name a few people who live (or have lived) for others?
Mahatma Gandhi? Martin Luther King? Dalai Lama?
What if I told you that the list of people who live for others is quite long? In fact it includes practically every one? You, me, and uncle Joe!
It is a matter of definition.
I am defining “living for others” as aspects of our lives that are driven by our desire to impress others. So, we live in a house much too big for what we need, we drive a car way too ostentatious for our comfort, or attend a cultural event which we have no desire to attend. All this to make sure the others are impressed with our wealth (or fine taste) and sing our praise (we hope).
If we remove those activities, there will be little material impact on the quality of our lives. However, our ego will be hurt---It will not get as much pampering as it is used to.
Everyone lives for others---in different manner or to a different degree. In fact, the only persons who may not be guilty of living for others by my definition would be the people who live for others by the conventional definition…the Gandhis, the Kings and the other saintly people.
I think there is an easy way for figuring out how much of our life we live for the others.
Here is the way:
What would you purchase or do if you could not show it to others or talk about it?
Your truthful answer to the above question will tell you how much of your life you are living for your self. Anything above it is for the others.
May 9, 2009
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Hi Ashok kaka, happy to see another blog post up! I think your initial question of "living for others" would most likely be interpreted as people who sacrifice in their own lives for others benefit. Those people you listed would then appropriately fit in that mold, because they gave up their time, energy and spirit to lead others in a movement. I think as society evolves and the western idea of materialism spreads even in Gandhian Gujurat and Communist China, that original term of living for others is losing its meaning and gaining the second meaning of living to impress others with our lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteHow about someone like Raju and Rupal. They could have had a wonderful, materially reach life if they would have stayed and practiced engineering in the USA. They chose to take their passion to Kutch and decided to uplift lives of others. In my mind they are true heros. Having said that, should we just say that "Good for Raju and Rupal. Since I can not do that, I will just donate few hundred dollars to United Way and feel that I have done my part." Think agian, all of us can do our part however small. We can all do something. Here is a true story of my own life. I remember when we, at Unitarian Congregation first started GAIHN, (Greenville Area Interfaith Hospitality Network) program; This program houses people who are homeless in their church building week at a time until they find a job and housing or their own. It is hard life as they move from a church to church every week. Church provides food and shelter and usually provides a host each evening. Suzy signed us up for being a host for one night. I was not very motivated to get out of the comforts of our home and spend a night with strangers and giving up my bed and sleeping on a cot. We arrived at our fellowship and were greeted by this bright eyed small child about 7 or 8 years old. She was being cared by her grandmother. Her mother had lost a custody due to drug usage. She had no clue that she was homeless. To her all those Christmas decorations, all the brilliance of Christmas was enchanting. I immediate befriended her. I started teasing her. I challenged her to a game of Scrabble. Before she went to bed that night she came to me. “Mr. Bo, here! I have a present for you”. She presented me with a star she had drawn on a piece of paper with love and care only 7 or 8 year can provide. I still cherish that present as one of the most significant present I have ever received. Few months passed by and I was shopping at a grocery store. The clerk was staring at me and finally asked. “You do not recognize me? do you? As a tru southerner, I politely answered “No Ma’am”. She told me how thankful she was for our church being there in her life when she was at the lowest point in her life. That was her last week as a guest with GAIHN program. After our hosting, she located an employment and subsequently housing. Yes! It would have been very easy for us not to care, after all, there are so many people needing help, how can we solve the massive problem such as this? We could have hidden under the cloak of indifference. I strongly believe that we do not have to be Gandhi to care. We can make a difference in a life of at least one person , one at a time.
ReplyDeleteBharat
Ashok:
ReplyDeleteYou have described two different kinds of living for others (elsewhere in your blog as well).
As you have mentioned, it is the "ego" that drives much of the "living for others". That is why, overcoming the ego gets a central place in many of the spiritual discourses of India. Some people realize the falacy of ego with age (rather, with maturity), others never do. Let us hope, we do.
As for the other type of living for others (I call it "the life of Service") - Gandhiji and King and such people definitely are prime examples. At the same time, other - lesser known - or, unknown - people are also mentioned in these comments. And, rightly so.
How nice that the Life of Service pervades all spectrum of life. In fact, all the smaller, and lesser known acts of Service are the reason the world has come this far. It is the underlying collective force that builds the character of human civilzation.
Rest of us only play on it.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I hope to have the courage and the wisdom to live a Life of Service.
Amit