Nostalgia

While I celebrate the availability of:

 

·      Thousands of channels to watch on TV, I am dismayed that very often we feel that “there is nothing worthwhile to watch,” and remember the days when we eagerly looked forward to the next episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

 

·      Endless on-line courses, from geology to history, from science to art, I am dismayed that I have lost ability to focus on one subject at a time, and remember the time when the only way to learn something was in a classroom and we had to focus on that one subject.

 

·      Instantaneous news, “Breaking news”, I am dismayed that the focus is on sensational news, and remember the days when the news presentation was much thought through.

 

·      Multiple news sources, I am dismayed that they start to look alike, and remember the days when we only watched Walter Cronkite to get “authentic” news.

 

·      The availability of zoom, I am dismayed that the ability to interact face to face is getting lost, and remember the days when I looked forward to an event because of the opportunity to mingle.

 

·      GPS for going anywhere at any time, I am dismayed that my ability to navigate is lost (creating a mess if by any chance the GPS is not available), and remember the days when I used to land at the airport, rent a car and then figure out where I was going based on paper maps.

 

·      Any music any time any place, I am dismayed that my ability to enjoy spontaneity and randomness of a radio is now lost, and remember the days of listening to “Binaca Geetmala” every Wednesday on a radio in India.

 

·      Easy and free connectivity with anyone in the world, I am dismayed that the face-to-face conversations have become now a rarity, and remember the days when the family members interacted with each other at a gathering instead of being lost on their iPhones.

 

·      The vast amount of content created/forwarded by friends/family…must read articles, videos, tik-tok, Instagrams, FaceBook, photo albums…I am dismayed that there is no easy way to prioritize what I should hear and watch, and remember the days when receiving a clipping by mail was an event.

 

·      Digital photography which allows me to create “slideshows” of my travels rather rapidly and share with far flung family and friends, I am dismayed that hardly anyone is interested in watching them, and remember the days when actual slideshows were often the reason that family/friends got together at our place.

 

Perhaps I am now old enough that nostalgia about the past is more significant than the possibilities of the future .  

Happiness equation

 I have a simple equation that captures the reason of being happy in a situation:

 

Happiness = (Reality- Expectation) x Attitude.

 

Both reality and expectation are composed of multiple factors. Take for example, the location you select to live. In that case, reality may include year-round weather, closeness to a city, possible outdoor activities, the quality of the neighborhood, the quality of school system, job opportunities, and so on. There will be a corresponding set of expectations. 

 

So, the happiness equation is really a sum of reality minus expectations for every factor important to you.  A positive outcome means you are happy, a negative, unhappy and zero indicates an equanimous situation. 

 

This gets amplified by attitude. A person with a positive attitude will amplify factors that are positive (i.e., reality exceeds expectation), and ignore those that are negative. The reverse will be true for a person with negative attitude. For them, it is the negative factors that matter and worthwhile whining about. The positive factors don’t matter much. 

 

Expectation is very important in deciding happiness. If it is low, one can be happy more easily, and the reveres is true if it is high. That applies to every factor, not just lump sum. So, one would have an expectation for what the weather or the neighborhood should be like, and so on. 

 

What factors to include in this equation depend on the stage of your life. The expectation related to job opportunities will disappear as a factor once you retire. During that phase, the expectation related to weather may become more important. To be more accurate, each expectation has a weight attached to it, which changes depending on phase of life. 

 

The level of expectation you have for a specific factor is also dependent on how competitive you are. For example, if you want to keep up with the Joneses, you may establish a high expectation for, say, the size of the house you want to live in. Not that you need it, but because your friend has one. In that case, a perfectly reasonable but small house will bring unhappiness. 

 

Finally, there is a time element associated with the happiness thus calculated. It declines over time. As the newness wears off, a perfectly good situation may start getting boring. Unless, of course, attitude kicks in and puts sanity back again.