I came across an interesting book while browsing in Harvard
Coop bookstore in Cambridge, MA. Titled, “Travels with Epicurus,” it contains
ruminations of an elderly writer, Daniel Klein, as he tries to find what makes
old age fulfilling. To do so, he carried a bunch of books written by
philosophers, primarily Greek, and went to Hydra, a Greek island. There he
observed how the elderly on that island enjoy their old age, focusing on one
old guy, Tasso, and his friends.
The book is filled with interesting philosophies and
observations on old age. He quotes Epicurus a lot (and hence the title of the
book). Epicurus is the one who said, “Best possible life one could live is a
happy one, a life filled with pleasure.” He further observes, “The old age is
pinnacle of life, as good as it gets.”
This observation is along the same line as what most of us
have experienced, that the “young” old age is when you have everything, time,
health, wealth, and freedom from duties (unless you have elderly parents to
take care of). I wrote a Blog Post on the subject in January 2015.
Further, Epicurus says, “It is not the young man who should
be considered fortunate but the old man who has lived well, because the young
man in his prime wanders much by chance, vacillating in his belief, while the
old man has docked in the harbor, having safeguarded his true happiness.”
As a counter to that “old man with his ship docked in the
harbor,” Klein coins a term “forever young” to describe elderly who are
trying to remain young forever, by making bucket lists and trying to run around
with as much vigor as when they were young. According to him, “Many forever
youngsters are driven by the frustration of not having fully achieved the goals they
dreamed of attaining when they were younger; they see their final years as a
last chance to grab some elusive brass ring.”
He elaborates on his disdain for a bucket list, “New
experiences and new things couldn’t possibly be boring, could they? Well
apparently they often could. Newness itself gets old. At the twelfth place to
see before dying, viewing exotic terrain gets to be old hat---you’ve already
done exotic eleven times.”
So what needs to be done? Epicurus says, “Scale down and
enjoy the leisurely pleasures of old age.” That is what the Greek person that
Klein is observing, Tasso, is doing. He spends his days enjoying company of his
friends sitting at a tavern.
“Tasso is enjoying his companions without wanting anything
from them. He simply wants his friend to be with him. He wants him to share
conversation, laughter, and, most importantly, silence. Epicureans considered
communal silence a hallmark of true friendship.” This is such an important
point. I too have observed that when your friendship with someone reaches
certain level, there is no need to constantly converse.
Another thing that Klein suggests is to feel free to
complain and discuss your problems with your friends, health in particular. “If
we do not let it all hang out in front of our friends, we are cheating
ourselves out of one of old person’s best palliatives.” I have observed this to
be true. After certain age, there is no need for us to put up a façade that we
are a picture of perfect health. We all have issues, and talking about them
makes us feel good.
Klein observes that, “Accumulated experience is what an old
person has in abundance. The trick is to slow down enough that this accumulated
experience can be contemplated and even, hopefully, savored.” That plus using
your mind to pursue philosophical matter is what he recommends. “Leaving the
world of commerce and politics behind, we are free to focus our brainpower on
other matters, often more intimate and philosophical matters.”
This, according to Klein, is a “fulfilled” old age, as
different from “forever young” old age. If we do not follow on his advise, “We
proceed directly from the “forever young” stage of life to old old age, missing forever the chance at being a fulfilled old
man docked in harbor, having safeguarded his true happiness. We lose out on the
pinnacle of life, as per Epicurus.”
Klein has choice words for the old old age. “Senility and incontinence are what we have to look
forward to in old old age. The
medical science, at great expense, has largely given us extended years of
decrepitude. ‘Alive is the new dead.’ Old old age stinks. It is difficult to
see geriatric depression as a mental disorder; it seems more like an authentic
and fitting response. The entire prospect of gradually and inevitably falling
apart, with death as the only possible relief, not only fills me with terror,
it overwhelms me with anger.”
So should one live in despair before the inevitable happens
and we enter old old age? According
to Klein, a middle path is what is required. “Perhaps authentic old age can
consist of neither the breathless ambition of the forever youngster nor
unremitting despair, but something meaningful in itself.”
Klein spends time in describing Hindu and Buddhist
philosophies as quite relevant to finding meaning. “Zen Buddhism teaches
mindfulness as the path to enlightenment –full consciousness, a continuous,
clear awareness of the present moment.”
Poet William Blake beautifully describes living in the present
moment:
“He who binds to himself a joy
Does he winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.”
This is a good book to read if for nothing else to learn what
wise folks say about becoming old. I have personally struggled with the
question with no clear answer. In one of my earlier Posts, “The Stage of Just
Living” of February 2016, I made similar observations as those of Epicurus
while indicating the difficulties in following that advice. On the other hand,
I have followed “forever young” type of life in my retirement, and old age. I
would frankly be bored after a few days of living the life that Tasso is
living. Perhaps, there is an age before
old old age sets in but after I get tired of bucket lists and
search for new experiences. That’s when it would be good to follow advice of
the philosophers of the past.
